Epic, My Ass

Could someone please explain to me how a post on the interweb can be considered "EPIC?" Does anyone know the definition of epic? The Universe is epic, because its size boggles the mind. A less than funny story of how the dog jumped on your Aunt Jane and smudged her new dress is not epic. Actually it is just plain stupid and hardly worthy of the time it took to type. Now just because you own a shirt from Hot Topic that is a by-product of a dying and very lame trend of saying everything is epic doesn't mean that it is. Almost nothing is epic. Now I am epic because my greatness is beyond comprehension, but I will freely admit that as far as epic goes, I am the smallest and most insignificant example of what can be construed as such. Sometimes I think I am only just awesome because to actually use the word epic so out of context is the folly of the cheese.