A Pool and a Hose

As an electrician I have something in common with doctors. We both diagnose and fix problems. We are also approached in public places to have said problems explained to us in murky details. Unlike a doctor however, electricians are expected to explain how to fix problems so the homeowner can fix it themselves and therefore avoid paying for the expertise. People also think that since this is what we do for a living that we just love to do it in during our free time and should come over bright and early in the morning to do so. Wrong!

I understand that it is human nature to not want to pay for things. This is especially true when friends are involved. I am reminded of the time I wired my buddy's new inground pool. He and his wife want for nothing and regularly take vacations, go on cruises and have a home full of expensive gadgets. So when I acquire much of the materials for this install from work, at my own peril, I should not have to listen to his wife cry poverty when I ask for the ninety bucks that I had to spend at the hardware store for the things I could not acquire. Seriously, am I supposed to pay you to do this for you? "We aren't made of money" is a shitty thing to say when I already saved you hundreds.

So it took every bit of imagination I could muster to get power to the pool location, and quite a bit of expertise. There I am with the sun beating down on me in ninety degree heat when my buddy dares suggest that "we should do this as a business. We could make some nice money." Now the fact that he hasn't lifted a finger to help, nor has he yet to offer me a beer, seems insignificant to the fact that I know he isn't going to pay me shit for all of this work. The irony seems lost on him, but what are friends for, right? Of course I was right. Adding insult to injury he tells me the electrical inspector told him it was the nicest installation he had ever seen. Of course it is.

A year later my buddy's brother moves in down the street from me. His family is somewhat poor but again he always seems to have money for snowmobiles and for his RV and for the kind of things that I do without. He knocks on my door and asks me if I would be interested in wiring his new pool when it gets installed next week. Well here we go again. I guess at least I can take a dip when the summer heat becomes unbearable, which never happens, but I digress.

We begin by heading to the local electrical supplier so he can open an account. This helps to avoid the inevitable arguments over the cost of materials. The clerks suggest an account of $1200. It better not cost me that much, he moans, as I already spent seventeen grand on the damn pool already. It seems to fall on deaf ears when the merchant tries to explain that what he will need for the job is simply that expensive. The clerk and I share an awkward moment as the guy walks out of the store, hops in the vehicle, and slams the door (to my fucking truck no less!). This does not bode well for my bottom line. I am pretty sure I am going to get stiffed. The merchant ran his credit application anyway and later told me it was rejected. Of course it was.

Naturally I cannot get the work done fast enough for his liking, even when "borrowing" a couple hundred dollars worth of wire from my employer to try and save his some cash. He seems indifferent to the fact that I had to rewire half of his service panel and add a sub-panel just to make room. To make a long story short I bust my ass on the sunny side of the house for a week and do a superb job. Then the guy doesn't even give me the case of beer he said he would give me for all of my effort, which in all reality should have been about fifty cases and the hundreds for the materials. He then has the nerve to come knocking again when he destroyed all of the switches and outlets across the yard from the pumps by crushing them with the excavator he was using to install his fence. I told him I would be up when I was able. I never went back and I have yet to be invited for a swim. Ain't that a peach?

This is why they say never loan money to friends, or in this case try not to work for them. You will just get hosed in the end. If you make a big stink about getting paid then they stiff you anyway and you are then down a friend, therefore I tend to just let it go. I make it back when I can, perhaps when running into them in a social setting like at a tavern. When they come back from the bar I ask them where my drink is. When they say drinks are like four bucks I respond "well that was about the cost of just one of those fittings that you never paid for on your pool pump." If the guilt isn't enough to get them to go back to the bar then it was nice knowing you.